THE END IS NEAR
I’ve been having recurring dreams about the zombie apocalypse. I’ve been dreaming about zombies almost twice a week for the past two months. Every one knows that the number 2 is synonymous with Satan and the end of the world, and since this is as much of a logical basis to predict the end of the world as Harold Camping has, consider this my official warning:
HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIVES, HIDE YO HUSBANDS. Because they eatin’ errbody up in here.
The zombies are coming. Sell your belongings, leave the cities, stock up on canned food and make sure a hammer/axe/sword/anything able to sever the brain stem of the undead is in your arsenal. Use a gun FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY. Gun shots attract attention.
YOU HAVE BEEN FOREWARNED. ALL MESSAGES ARE COMING TO A BILLBOARD NEAR YOU.
